KENNEDY RYAN.

what she says: i'm fine

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 16:00:18 -0400

what she says: i'm fine
what she means: *crying* Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Nieres calling. I'm calling to let you know how disappointed I am in your story. There's many things I read in here that were false. Like you saying that I wore 6-inch Louboutin heels to court with my tweed skirt when I wore 4-inch little brown Bebe shoes.

Just in case anybody wanted to know how close I was to becoming a bitter person, that doomsday clock...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:22:00 -0400

Just in case anybody wanted to know how close I was to becoming a bitter person, that doomsday clock just got moved one inch closer to ‘DYING ALONE WITH A DOZEN CATS’ because I opened VLC and the still was a paused scene of CJ kissing some gross reporter dude, paused because I slammed my laptop shut in disgust last night at the sight of smooching on the show that I watch specifically to forget about smooching.

Photo

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:12:55 -0400

SUMMER (it’s always a very hot, somewhat devilish summer...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 20:00:10 -0400

SUMMER

(it’s always a very hot, somewhat devilish summer in Texas)

The Guardian: Any advice for a 21-year-old who hates their job and has the possibility of traveling the world? And has a boyfriend that they like. (This is for a friend.)

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 16:00:20 -0400

The Guardian: Any advice for a 21-year-old who hates their job and has the possibility of traveling the world? And has a boyfriend that they like. (This is for a friend.)
Rob Delaney: Go do it. Fuck him. Is he a guy in his 20s? Then he's the least significant type of person on the planet. A male in their 20s? Run in the opposite direction. Nothing he says matters; his fears, his hopes his dreams are garbage. Men in their 20s are the worst thing happening on our planet. Go, go to Uzbekistan, go to South Korea, just go anywhere he isn't because men in their 20s are bad for young women.
The Guardian: So what do women in their 20s do?
Rob Delaney: Masturbate. Date other women for a while. Use men sexually for a while but don't ever invite their opinion or be bound to them in any way.

Had to.

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 21:31:54 -0400

Had to.

Video

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 20:00:27 -0400

rules for gift giving:

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 19:41:00 -0400

Oral sex, always a winner. (Advised for S.O.’s only)
Clothing - mostly a no. Unless you know the person so well it hurts. In that case, go all out and buy them something they would never buy for themselves. Buy them the scarf they would stroke then place back on a table. Buy them the camisole they’ve deemed to be frivolously expensive. Buy them the pocket square that would make them grin.
From the above rule comes the golden rule of gift giving: the most golden gifts are things that they covet but would never buy for themselves.
No limit on money because the things that are good and small and thoughtful often cost the most. However, only buy what you can afford.
Dinners (or lunches followed by a stroll, something else to make up for the fact that it wasn’t a dinner) to get away from it all and it’s your treat of course and you’re going to offer them both the dinner mints to suck on while you take care of the bill.
No giftcards. Ever. Is there a quicker way to disappoint? Well, don’t run over my dog. But don’t get me a giftcard either. (RULE DOES NOT APPLY TO THE TWO FUELS: Starbucks and gas station gift cards)
Nothing decorative. They won’t use that stainless steel hexagonal bowl from Crate and Barrel/Pier 1/Homesense even though it looks just like the one you two cooed over while watching Mad Men that one time.

Wrote in my diary about how much it sucks to have my period, this particular period. It’s an odd...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 18:30:00 -0400

Wrote in my diary about how much it sucks to have my period, this particular period. It’s an odd balance between feeling very tender and very mean and caring so, so much about the differences between the two.

Hi, I’ve regressed to being a 13 year old girl.

Vincent van Gogh, Peach Trees in Blossom, 1889 (source).

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:00:34 -0400

Vincent van Gogh, Peach Trees in Blossom, 1889 (source).

Photo

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 20:00:09 -0400

The Frenemy.: A Short List of Things I Do Not Understand

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 16:49:50 -0400

The Frenemy.: A Short List of Things I Do Not Understand:

thefrenemy:

When a dress you really like has one of those stupid thick elastic bands underneath the boobs and your body immediately looks like dogshit in the dress.

Also: Surprise! The dress is actually a romper

Why Facebook keeps putting dieting ads and engagement rings as ‘suggested posts’ for me NO…

Photo

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 16:00:23 -0400

Been having a lot of Friday Night Lights feels lately. This show...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 15:44:59 -0400

Been having a lot of Friday Night Lights feels lately.

This show taught me about what marriage, sportsmanship, pride mean in practice.

I v. much admire Liz Phair’s ideas and her view of sexual politics but I can’t deal with...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 15:37:07 -0400

I v. much admire Liz Phair’s ideas and her view of sexual politics but I can’t deal with her singing voice.

FINALLY started my essay/(is it called a thinkpiece if I’m...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 15:17:43 -0400

FINALLY started my essay/(is it called a thinkpiece if I’m not writing it for marks, in the dead heat of the summer???) about Her and Vanity and Looking and Effort and Stuff.

Photo

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 14:38:02 -0400

Diet ginger ale is the Mona-Lisa Saperstein of beverages.

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 01:40:01 -0400

Diet ginger ale is the Mona-Lisa Saperstein of beverages.

Sick day. Felt bad before I went to sleep yesterday and I woke up even worse. I don’t know why...

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 20:01:58 -0400

Sick day. Felt bad before I went to sleep yesterday and I woke up even worse. I don’t know why I went to work, I guess I don’t want to call in sick when I’ve been working somewhere for less than a month.

After an hour spent smelling the glazes and pastries, I had to call it quits. I barely made it a block before I had to puke.

Puking in public is an exercise in humility. ‘Cept, surprise! You have none because you’re the one bent over retching in the street as you recognize the mango you ate two hours before.

So then I bought a ginger ale and took a cab home and watched The West Wing.

"For years, I tried to avoid overused words like ‘nice’ and ‘cool’ whenever I made small talk. I’d..."

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 20:00:22 -0400

“For years, I tried to avoid overused words like ‘nice’ and ‘cool’ whenever I made small talk. I’d always try offhandedly compliment strangers with less predictable phrases, like “Wow! That’s an unorthodox haircut.” As it turns out, most people—and especially most women— hate this.”

- Chuck Klosterman, Eating The Dinosaur